I'm old-so what?

With all the political junk going on today my head feels like it's going to explode; it feels so stuffed up. My wife says it' s from me breathing in burnt lead and gunpowder from being on the shooting range for three hours today. Maybe she's right, so no politics today, but I've just got to address a certain issue about us "old folks".

OK, I'm a crossword puzzle freak. What's 15 letters, two words for "stupid waste of money". Give up? The answer: COSMETIC SURGERY. 

I don't know all the stats, but Americans outspend almost all countries COMBINED on lotions, creams, diet pills, and cosmetic surgery. Why is it that all TV commercials and magazine ads that "promise" smooth skin, everlasting love, and a weight loss of 30 pounds in two weeks if you just "sign up" for some great product, are always shown by some 20-year old gorgeous beauty or a six-pak abs 20-year old Chippendale's man?

I'm 78 years "young", and have accepted that I'll never have a 32" waistline again, and I have wrinkles and sags, and while I'm not fat at all, I could stand to lose a few pounds. 

I have a saying today, "the two main people I want to make happy are my wife and my Doctor".
I get a physical every year, and my Doctor tells me my heart, lungs, and blood are fine. I get the dreaded colonoscopy every five years. I certainly don't get second looks when I go anywhere. After a career wearing shirts, ties, and suit coats, today if the weather's warm I'm usually in shorts; weather chilly and I'm in a Carhart and jeans.

To me, it seems that Americans today are subtlety broadcasting that they dislike senior citizens so much that they will spend not millions, but BILLIONS, every year just to have someone say, "gee you look great...you look so young". And why? Just to look younger?  So, I guess I'm a bad person because not only do I not only do I look old, I am freakin' old!

My wife and I have friends, and even a few family members that have gone the "better beauty through chemistry" approach. We know someone who complains about the high finances of today, and how rough it is with price increases,  but magically found $3,500. for eyelid surgery.

We have another friend that years ago got a breast augmentation before the soft silicones were affordable to her. Today, she's 70, and when I hug her I feel she's gonna break a rib or two of mine. 

There was a TV actress that was drop-dead gorgeous and her series was cancelled, so I didn't see her a lot on TV. Last week she was a guest on a TV show. Honest, she looked like a chipmunk with her puffy cheeks. I think she had a gallon of Botox injected in her cheeks.

Now, I go to the gym every other day, but if I spend thousands on Botox, face lifts, and nose correction do I think I'm going to successfully hit on a woman 30 or 40 years younger than me?
Do older people realize how comical they look with all those Botox and other skin lifts, and then think they belong with the younger crowd?  Puulleease!

Here's a news flash for everyone: No matter what you do, no matter how many Botox injections you get, no matter how many face-lifts you endure there is one outstanding fact, you will grow old, and you're gonna die someday.I didn't make that up people, God told me so.

I almost gag when people say, " well, I'm getting all this work done, because it makes me feel good".  Today, we have medical problems with diabetes, heart failures, COPD, Alzheimer's, etc., and instead of money for those dire issues,  we spend billions to look younger.   I say, if you want to make yourself feel good, then bend or kneel down and help those less fortunate than you. Yeah, I know it's private money, and you can do what you want with your own money, but if you can only feel good about yourself if you do something for yourself then you are one vain person.

But the truth is if someone is going to make a comment about you because you have a wrinkle, sag, or slightly larger waistline then they're not worth your time, and if someone judges you because you have a sag or wrinkle, then they're definitely not worth your time.

Here's another news flash: What's wrong with growing old? It's something we all have in common. The human body ages. Everyday, when my shower is done, and I push the curtain back and see the guy in the mirror I get the real clear message that I'm old. And so what?

So folks, you can spend all the millions, no BILLIONS you want, and it will not knock off one hour of your approaching birthday. Enjoy life...grow old...love your family...quit worrying about the wrinkles and sags. There aren't enough plastic surgeons around to cover all the wrinkles and sags in my 78-year old body.

And by the way, if I want an extra scoop of ice cream or piece of pie I'm going for it.

And that's NO Politics with Pete for today...God bless us old wrinkled saggy people